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Pregnancy Management in the Joint Family System

A joint family system is a system where a woman lives with her husband and his family (susral). The married couple stays in one part—mostly in one room—because all members of the husband’s family share one home. Generally, all women stay in a joint family for at least the first few years of their married life. If your husband is the eldest in the family, the duration of time that you live in a susral may be prolonged.

The joint family system is the main system of living in Pakistan and is more prevalent in small cities and villages. Trends are changing, though, because young people become professionally qualified, and small towns or cities do not provide enough opportunities for them. However, even with young people shifting to big cities in search of jobs, the joint family system still remains the most prevalent system in Pakistan.

Our team interviewed many women belonging to all walks of life about the advantages and disadvantages of living in a joint family system during pregnancy.  Most of the women talked about problems they had faced along with their pregnancy discomforts, but there were some points made in favour of living in a joint family system during pregnancy.

The following are a few experiences that were shared during the course of the interviews:

Difficulty in Getting a Balanced Dietdiet- off your menu in pregnancy

The first and foremost concern which a pregnant woman living in a joint family has to face is the difficulty of getting the balanced diet which is essential for the health of a mother and her unborn baby. Almost 90 per cent of women whom we interviewed faced this problem. It was not a question of food availability, but rather a question of always being under a critical eye and therefore feeling restricted in one’s eating choices that made it impossible for a woman to get a balanced diet. A diet focused on providing proper nutrition was rarely specially provided or made available to a pregnant woman living in a joint family system.

Judgemental Comments and Comparisonsjoint family

Almost all women, irrespective of their financial status and educational level, complained that they had to bear judgemental comments from their in-laws. If a pregnant woman was not feeling well or felt nauseous, the mother-in-law would usually comment:

‘My elder daughter got pregnant and she was very healthy and fresh. My daughter used to do all the household chores in spite of her nausea. In fact, she used to eat very little.’

‘You sleep a lot, but my daughter [or niece…it could be any female relation] slept less. You shouldn’t eat so many multivitamins; your sleep is excessive because of them. Sleeping so much will make your baby’s brain dull’. Her ‘excessive’ sleep may just be a nap for a couple of hours.

‘Don’t take so much rest! I used to work all day long and never had time to rest’.

In short, most women were of the opinion that their life was made very uncomfortable due to some biting comments and comparisons.

No Time for Rest and No Privacythird trimester7

The women we interviewed felt that they could not find time to rest of their own free will because they had to follow a schedule that was comfortable for everyone. For example, in some families everyone had to eat at the same time.

Lack of privacy was another complaint voiced by all women during our research.

Role of a Pregnant Woman as a Bahu

In some join family homes, there is a logical system for hosting guests: only the person whom the guests are visiting will attend to them. In some other families, however, a Bahu must attend to the guests whether she is feeling well or not. One woman recounted how her sister-in-law used to visit every other day with her three kids, and it was her duty to serve them good food. She also had to keep smiling and act pleasant no matter how bad she might be feeling.

 

http://www.pakparenting.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/04/joint-family-3.jpghttp://www.pakparenting.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/04/joint-family-3-150x150.jpgPak Parenting TeamPregnancyPregnancy in PakistanHusband's role in pregnancy,Joint family system,Pregnancy,pregnancy and joint family system,Pregnancy managementPregnancy Management in the Joint Family System A joint family system is a system where a woman lives with her husband and his family (susral). The married couple stays in one part—mostly in one room—because all members of the husband’s family share one home. Generally, all women stay in a...Be  Smart Parents