Tips to Communicate with your School-Age kids
Tips to Communicate with your School-Age kids
Below are some little steps to help parents connect and communicate with their school-age child.
A school-age child should be treated like a grown-up person!
Your child views himself as a ‘big’ person and wants to be treated like one. Parents need to realize that a school-age child observes and feels even the tiniest thing they say or do.
Listen to your child!
Many parents think that they talk a lot with their kids, but may actually be giving instructions instead of listening. Kids have a lot to share with their parents, particularly after school. Parents often assume that they already know what their child is trying to say and interrupt her. However, a child stops sharing when she feels that her words are not given due importance.
A seemingly small problem may be huge for a child!
One mistakes parents make is ignoring their child’s little problems. Your child may tell you, for example, that whenever he raises hand in class, his teacher doesn’t call on him. Your instinct might be to ignore this, but for your child it can be a big problem that may be hurting his self-esteem. Let your child tell you about his feelings in detail, and then talk about his problem from all perspectives.
Help your child recognize and describe her feelings!
Sometimes it is difficult for a child to recognize her feelings; she gets confused and describes them in a very awkward way. But parents can understand what their child might be feeling or going through. If your child is stuck like that, help her to express her thoughts or feelings by rephrasing what she says or by asking questions. For example, you could ask, ‘Do you mean that your teacher was happy and gave you three stars? Am I right?’
Talk about your child’s school, teacher and friends!
This will make your child feel that you are interested in his life. Ask specific questions about his school. For example, ask, ‘What did you do during break time?’ instead of asking, ‘Did you enjoy break time?’ or ask, ‘What is your friend’s name?’ instead of asking, ‘Do you have friends?’ Specific questions elicit longer and more specific answers. Talk about his teacher, because at this age, kids idealize their teachers and observe them very keenly.
Have a look at her books and notebooks every day!
Open each and every book and notebook and show appreciation for her work. If something is not done well, give encouragement instead by saying that she will improve her work with a little bit of practice. Show your joy by saying, ‘How did you draw this perfect shape? I cannot draw so nicely.’ This shows your child that you value school and study, and she will try to do better at school.
Invest your time to build trust!
Remember, you cannot build any relationship on a strong footing unless you invest quality time in it. It is the same with your relationship with your child. You need to invest quality time to attend to your child’s needs, answer his silly questions, and look at his seemingly awkward drawings. You can interact with your child while cooking or cleaning, of course, but you also need to stop everything and see or listen to what he is doing or saying. You need to set aside time to play with him, laugh with him, and have fun with him. You cannot ignore your child if you want to win his trust.
Instead of handling your child’s anger and aggression, handle yours!
It’s quite natural for parents to lose their tempers when kids drive them crazy. They start shouting, and when kids don’t obey, they tend to punish them. Some parents even stop talking to their kids as a part of the punishment. However, kids often show anger or strong emotion as a reaction to their parents’ behaviour, so it is important to learn to manage your own anger, fatigue, or aggression. Try to find out which of your actions is generating such a negative reaction in your child.
With love and communication, discipline will come automatically!
Behaviour problems are resolved and discipline comes automatically if you are able to build a strong connection with your child. You don’t need to talk about rules and impose them all the time.
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